TWAD: You know you want it

Who doesn't crave a delicious, savory TWAD once in a while? We all eat TWAD, at least once in a while. It's no wonder, considering TWAD is constantly on parade in our society these days. Everywhere we look big, jiggling, succulent TWAD.



We are surrounded by TWAD. It's advertised on every TV channel. It's plastered on roadside billboards and splashed across magazine covers. In fact, eating TWAD is even encouraged in our schools and churches. (Kids everywhere are eating TWAD.)



There may be a misconception that more men than women prefer TWAD, but that's simply not true. Ladies love a good meaty TWAD in their face just as much as the next fellow (especially after a long, hard day of work). Mothers place their TWAD upon silver platters and present it to their families every day of the week. Teen girls eat TWAD together in public. Heck, your grandmother probably even likes TWAD. And I'll let you in on a dirty little secret.

_{I eat TWAD too, especially when it's aromatic.}



Show me one man, woman or child this side of Constantinople who doesn't know what it's like to eat the TWAD, and I'll show you a liar. TWAD is our constant companion. Our minds, bodies and mouths demand more TWAD. TWAD is lip-smackingly, undeniably tempting. Make no mistake about it:

TWAD is life!

<sub>Okay, enternamehere. Hardy har har. What is TWAD?

So glad you asked. TWAD is the result of a silly acronym mix-up. It stands for Typical Western American Diet. It is a very distant and largely unknown relative of SAD, or Stereotypical American Diet.

TWAD was birthed from a conversation about nutrition and physical fitness @jschindler and I had not too long ago. This is a classic example of a sullied acronym, not an entirely uncommon occurrence in our conversations...</sub>

I nominate @wizardofcheeze and @arseniclullaby to make us laugh.

Thanks to all the fantastic #comedyopenmic judges, sponsors and participants. And thank you so much for reading, this is my first stab a humor post (I usually talk about art projects, poetry and food). I had immense fun writing this silly piece. This is also my first time wandering around in #comedyopenmic, for which I have @sandrina.life to thank - generously!



^{^^This wicked cool voxel art is by fabiyamada^^}