FULL ENGLISH VERSION

Greetings, lovely people of #HolosLotus, how have you been? It's been a while since I last shared with you. I've been away from here, but you're always on my mind. Today, more than ever, I decided to put together a post about a topic that's been on my mind, and I couldn't decide whether to publish it here or in another community. Anyway, I'm here today, and I hope to be more active with you.



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I'd like to know, where does empathy go when we talk to someone else? Especially when the person we haven't seen in a while barely looks at you, and instead of greeting you, what they say is something like, "Look how fat you are! What happened to you?" Or, on the contrary, "You're so skinny! Are you sick?"
And when it's your turn to respond, it simply provokes the most sarcastic response in the world, which usually goes as badly as the unscrupulous comment they just made. That's where the question arises: Is the other person doing it on purpose? Or does it come out directly and unconsciously? I think it's a bit of both.

Talking to people who are anything but empathetic never ceases to amaze me. It's as if their off-the-cuff comment is telling you something's wrong with you, as if you didn't know you were overweight or had a hormonal or blood problem that made you look thinner than normal.
I'm almost certain they mean it that way. It's almost like telling offensive jokes about people who are blind or deaf, whether by birth or due to an accident. In my familgoes of learning to make comments of this magnitude, with a mocking intent, wanting to make a joke to "look good" but at the same time directly offending the other person for no reason.

I'll give you an example of obesity, or its extreme, being very thin, because people don't measure what they say or how they say it. I have an internal and external struggle to break this type of behavior, which I learned from my family, friends, and acquaintances.
I mean, how hard is it for you to put yourself in someone's shoes for a moment before saying what you're going to say? Do you think calling someone fat will make them want to be thinner? Or telling someone who's depressed, "Don't feel sad, life is beautiful," the depressed person will undergo a kind of metamorphosis upon hearing your words and will then feel completely happy.

Yes, the people I've interacted with throughout my life have been quite honest with me, to the point of crossing that line between disrespect and a profound lack of conscience. Ah, but when the other person has to respond after you've spoken and they respond rudely, you wonder, "What did I say?" Atelling you what you said, but how you said it.
For my part, I've learned to be direct; it's one of the things I love about myself. But I also take great care to be respectful at all times, to put myself in the other person's shoes before speaking, to see the bigger picture, to understand why they're saying what they're saying, how they're saying it, and I'm also mindful of the tone in which I'm saying things.

Being empathetic isn't a gift, nor a superpower. I wish it were that simple. It's a daily task that requires practice, lots and lots of practice. It also requires a lot of awareness and analysis in the present tense, along with a high level of emotional control. It's difficult; it's difficult for me emotionally. So I continue working on that aspect that I struggle with so much: controlling and identifying my emotions.
And it's not easy when you have to identify the triggers, bite your tongue (as they say), and keep silent when you just want to vent your anger because the wounds the other person inflicts hurt a lot, especially if they're the result of other wounds that haven't fully healed yet.

It's not easy, but it's not impossible either. It takes a lot to fix oneself. And believe me, I've had to deal with it many times when another person comes like a whirlwind, destroys everything in their path, and then leaves as if nothing had happened.
Maybe this post sounded like a vent, and maybe I wrote it with that intention or from that perspective. Today I just wanted to talk is it the topic, without meaning someone'sone, just to talk about a harsh reality that many people take the wrong way. See you in the next post, best regards!